Heathclaw
Administrator
Rustlestar %7C 9 lives[M:400]
Am I crazy? Is that my problem?
Posts: 169
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Post by Heathclaw on Apr 16, 2009 19:51:00 GMT -5
Tigerpaw opened one eye and let out a soft groan. It was the middle of the night, his muscles ached from training, and now, someone was snoring. He pulled himself reluctantly out of his bedding, blinking around with sleepy eyes to try and detect the offender. Was it Falconpaw? Or perhaps it was Twigpaw, he was always doing annoying things like that.
Whoever it was, there didn't seem to be any chance of Tigerpaw getting back to sleep. With a resigned sigh, the tabby tom pushed his way out of the apprentices' den and out into camp.
The night air was fresh and clean, and the soft blue glow of a half-moon illuminated the camp. Tigerpaw took a deep breath and released it, closing his eyes briefly as he felt the breeze blow gently across his fur, creating a cool, calming sensation.
He had grown a bit from the cat who'd fallen into the river just a few moons ago. He'd been working as hard as he could for Steelpool, his mentor, but also hiding the weakness in his back legs from Steelpool and the rest of the camp. He could swim now, perhaps not as smoothly as the other apprentices, but well enough to make sure he didn't drown.
He glanced up at the moon. It would be a half-moon in a few more days. Soon, Streamheart and Minnowpaw would be off to the moonpool with all the other medicine cats. He gave the medicine den a wistful glance, and quickly turned away. That dream was over. He would never be a medicine cat, unless Minnowpaw died, and that thought was so terrible that he never let it so much as flicker through his mind.
He glanced back up at the sky, staring in reverence at the vastness of Silverpelt, each star a shining member of StarClan. A lump suddenly rose in his throat. It was around this time, six moons ago, that his brother and sister joined StarClan, far too early.
Unbidden, the images began to flash in front of his eyes: Dancing shadows, flying leaves, the horrifying sight of Stormkit's corpse, and a slash of red that covered the half moon, that covered everything.
He shook himself violently out of this nightmarish trance, and stared instead at two small stars, twinkling side by side. Will this haunt me forever? A deep melancholy settled over Tigerpaw as he stood there, still as a statue, gazing up into the sky.
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Silvercloud
Clan Cat
[M:190]
Silvercloud Warrior of WindClan
Posts: 103
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Post by Silvercloud on Apr 18, 2009 17:08:23 GMT -5
Minnowpaw shifted in her nest, trying to get comfy, but nothing seemed to work. With grunt she slipped out of nest is swift and fluid motion despite the exhaustion that clung to her. She was thirsty any way. Her body was tired and pleaded with her active brain for rest.
Why couldn't she sleep, there was nothing poking her. Maybe she out to take a few poppy seeds. The calico she-cat headed for the small pool of water within the den, ready to feel the cool liquid on her tongue and running down her throat.
Reaching the pool she crouched down and slowly drank of the fresh water. It wasn't as good as Moonpool water though. Sighing she headed for the entrance, wide awake.
The warriors of Silverpelt were bright this evening and a pleasant breeze blow through her fur gently. Tonight was beautiful and the moon would be half within a few days! Her first chance to share dreams with StarClan officially.
As her Caribbean depths casted about the clearing she spotted a striking tabby tom. He was about her age and taller than her. It was Tigerpaw, why was he shaking? It wasn't cold, did he see something was he sick?
Alarm pulsed through her and she shot forward toward the young tom. "Are you all right?!" Her voice was full of concern as her gaze drifted over him.
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Heathclaw
Administrator
Rustlestar %7C 9 lives[M:400]
Am I crazy? Is that my problem?
Posts: 169
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Post by Heathclaw on Apr 18, 2009 20:15:34 GMT -5
Tigerpaw flinched and jumped back, fur brushed out, as a voice shattered the silence, perhaps as quiet as a whisper, but blaringly loud to the hypersensitive Tigerpaw. It took him several frantic heartbeats to realize that this was a cat he recognized, one that he'd just been thinking of moments before.
"Minnowpaw!" exclaimed Tigerpaw, speaking in a voice that was no more than a whisper. "You- You certainly gave me a fright."
He saw concern in her crystal blue eyes, which shone like fire in the light of the near half-moon. "You saw that, didn't you?" said Tigerpaw with a soft sigh. "Please, don't worry about me. I'm fine. I was just... remembering some things."
He turned back to the moon, casting around uncomfortably for a change of subject, something to keep her from inquiring further. "It's going to be a half-moon in a matter of days, isn't it? Aren't you excited? It'll be amazing, meeting with StarClan."
Not one drop of bitterness colored his tone. He'd already had several moons to accept it. He turned back to Minnowpaw and gave her a tentative smile, waiting for her reply.
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Silvercloud
Clan Cat
[M:190]
Silvercloud Warrior of WindClan
Posts: 103
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Post by Silvercloud on Apr 21, 2009 17:10:19 GMT -5
Minnowpaw took a few paces back in surprise. She hadn't meant to startle him. "S-S-S-sorry" she stammered. The young calico cleared her throat and began again."I didn't mean to startle you."
Minnowpaw heard his voice fall low as he finally spoke again. Minnowpaw had a guess at what he had been so deep in reflection. Minnowpaw padded over to his side and sat down, letting her aquamarine pools become fixed on the moon, reflecting the bright half light.
"It was family wasn't it?" Her voice was barely a whisper when she spoke and she never took her eyes off of the moon. She new the tabby beside her wanted a change of subject and she ignored his question.
She was lost in her own pool of memories, memories of her broken family; her brother in WindClan with her father and her mother, where ever she maybe now. Her eyes began filling with tears and one managed to slide down her cheek and hung at her chin.
She was all alone now. She and her brother, if he stilled lived were leading different lives, tow different to speak of. He would never be able to understand nor could she really tell him about her life. It was something between her, StarClan, and Streamheart.
Finally back to Earth she released her transfixed stare on the moon and turned toward him with an answer to his question. "Yes the half-moon is almost upon us. Excited? Well perhaps. What if they send me a dream, a message filled with horror? How could I tell it to my mentor, to the clan? I'm only an apprentice, I don't want to be the bearer of bad news, and would any cat even listen to me?"
Why was it that she could only focus on the negatives now? Was it because she had been brooding over her past? StarClan did not always share news of misery, but they also promised peace and prosperity at times too. It all depended on what StarClan could see ahead of the livings cats they guided.
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Heathclaw
Administrator
Rustlestar %7C 9 lives[M:400]
Am I crazy? Is that my problem?
Posts: 169
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Post by Heathclaw on Apr 21, 2009 19:13:49 GMT -5
"It was family, wasn't it?" With those five words, Tigerpaw was granted a look into Minnowpaw's heart, and saw his own loss and pain reflected in her eyes. Any last shred of discontent that he felt towards the medicine cat apprentice was immediately banished.
Look at her. She's lost family too, and you don't see her moping about it every day!
Tigerpaw looked for something to say, but Minnowpaw beat him to the punch.
"Yes the half-moon is almost upon us. Excited? Well perhaps. What if they send me a dream, a message filled with horror? How could I tell it to my mentor, to the clan? I'm only an apprentice, I don't want to be the bearer of bad news, and would any cat even listen to me?"
It seemed that Minnowpaw was not as confident as she appeared to be. Once again, Tigerpaw felt a rush of kinship with the calico apprentice. Perhaps they were not so different after all.
"You'll do fine, Minnowpaw," Tigerpaw insisted earnestly. "Medicine cat apprentice is something that every cat will respect. And even if you do recieve bad news, that's no fault of your own. No one would blame it on you. No one could be that stupid..." Tigerpaw trailed off, glancing back up at the stars.
"You'll do just fine..." Tigerpaw whispered again, half to himself.
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Silvercloud
Clan Cat
[M:190]
Silvercloud Warrior of WindClan
Posts: 103
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Post by Silvercloud on Apr 22, 2009 16:30:52 GMT -5
Minnowpaw sighed. Every cat said that. They were just empty words. Only time alone would tell if she was going to become a medicine worthy to serve her clan. Besides she was after all only just learning this stuff.
This seemed to calm her nerves for now and she relaxed, letting the tension leave her as she sighed again. Her usual bounciness resumed. Mischief glowed like fireflies in her blue depths and a grin spread upon her lips.
She eyed Tigerpaw carefully, watching him. Her twitching tail crept up behind them and lightly poked him on the shoulder. Quick as a fish she jumped away from him. An impressive distance away she teased him with her tail.
She had her forelegs on the ground will her rear wriggled back and forth. Her eyes were glued to him, waiting and watching for him to respond. Her claws kneaded the ground, every muscles was tense, ready to move if provoked.
The silver light from the moon turned the clearing into a world of light and dark. Shadows stretched for, trying to consume everything, but the moon forbade them. The world had been transformed, too bad most cats were sleeping. Life after dark was rather interesting, if not eerie.
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Heathclaw
Administrator
Rustlestar %7C 9 lives[M:400]
Am I crazy? Is that my problem?
Posts: 169
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Post by Heathclaw on May 3, 2009 12:41:32 GMT -5
If there was magic afoot in the blending of light and shadow around the camp, Tigerpaw was unable to see it. He was trapped in another world, locked in solemn contemplation of the sky.
Fate. What fate did Starclan have in mind for him, the crippled warrior, the coward, the secret-keeper? Not meant to be a medicine cat, and yet unable to be a true warrior... What was he supposed to do?
Minnowpaw disrupted his musing once more, flicking her tail against his shoulder. The light touch darted through his fur like lightning, and his eyes flashed back to her, a few tail-lengths away, waiting for him to join in the game.
How could she have so much energy when his own muscles were burning with tiredness at this very moment? Of course, she was a medicine cat apprentice. She had more important things to learn than battle moves.
Her eyes twinkled back at him, inviting him to jump after her. With a sigh, Tigerpaw shook his head. "Sorry Minnowpaw. I'm just too tired." And too weak. A jump like that would be impossible in his condition.
"I don't think I'm cut out to be a warrior," Tigerpaw blurted out before he could stop himself. The words hung dangerously in the air. "Er... I mean, since I get so worn out every night. It's kinda hard, you know?" he said awkwardly, trying to soften his last statement.
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Silvercloud
Clan Cat
[M:190]
Silvercloud Warrior of WindClan
Posts: 103
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Post by Silvercloud on May 6, 2009 20:31:01 GMT -5
Minnowpaw got up and shook herself. There was no point in pushing the subject if he was sore and tired. If he was really that tired why didn't he , couldn't he sleep? Would he be interested in a few poppy seeds?
Was his mentor running him so ragged daily that he couldn't be bothered to play? Was he being abused somehow by the Warrior? Should she mention it to her mentor, to Oakstar? Should she confront the tom himself?
"I don't think I'm cut out to be a warrior,"
Those words quickly stopped her musing as they sunk in. She thingyed her head to the side and gave him a full, long look. Her blue eyes were large and critical.
"I see nothing wrong with the apprentice before me. He looks to be in top shape, building up strong muscles. Why do you think your not worthy of the title of warrior apprentice?"
Minnowpaw padded back to his side and looked him directly in th eyes. Her eyes were sincere and friendly. Tigerpaw certainly was secretive. If he didn't want to share that was up to him, she wouldn't press him for it. He would tell when he was ready. Besides she wanted to become close friends with him. The more friends the merrier.
It would help a lot with the loneliness she felt during the day. She was stuck in camp while others were out and exploring. Maybe tomorrow if he stayed in camp to rest he would play with her. Perhaps Twigpaw and Falconpaw would play too. They could have their own apprentice adventure.
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Heathclaw
Administrator
Rustlestar %7C 9 lives[M:400]
Am I crazy? Is that my problem?
Posts: 169
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Post by Heathclaw on May 7, 2009 17:44:22 GMT -5
(Great post!)
"I see nothing wrong with the apprentice before me. He looks to be in top shape, building up strong muscles. Why do you think you're not worthy of the title of warrior apprentice?"
"Why are you so worried about being a medicine cat apprentice?" Tigerpaw rebounded. He could still feel doubt clinging to the calico cat, even after all the encouragement she'd recieved. Now it was his turn to sigh. He turned his head, letting thoughts flow back into his mind.
Everyone expects me to be a warrior. They look at me and see the strength of a tiger flowing through me. And yet...
"To tell you the truth, I'm afraid of failing," said Tigerpaw still looking away. "I'm afraid that I won't be able to pull through when it really counts. I'm terrified of letting down this clan... letting down my family, here and in StarClan."
There really must have been something in the air that night to let the normally secretive Tigerpaw make this admission. And yet he felt a tiny lighter somehow, as if a weight had shifted on his back. He turned his head around to find Minnowpaw staring directly at him, warmth radiating from her eyes.
"That's my reason," concluded Tigerpaw, relieved that she didn't find him annoying. "It's why I've been working my tail off for Steelpool. Of course, it'd be nice if I could get some sleep every now and then."
Right on cue, a raucous cat snore floated out of the den, a sound halfway between a purr and a snort.
Tigerpaw laughed, feeling happier than he'd felt for a long while. "Thanks for listening, Minnowpaw. Looks like you've healed your first patient. You'll be a full-fledged medicine cat in no time."
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Silvercloud
Clan Cat
[M:190]
Silvercloud Warrior of WindClan
Posts: 103
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Post by Silvercloud on May 9, 2009 6:19:38 GMT -5
"Why are you so worried about being a medicine cat apprentice?"
Minnowpaw felt a wave of shock crash down upon her, choking her. She wasn't prepared for it and she found herself speechless. Her mouth opening and closing like a fish gasping for for air, begging to be placed back into the water. What could she say? What should she say? The truth?
Minnowpaw took a step back and her ears flattened, she hadn't meant to offend him. "Why I'm afraid, you think I'm afraid? Well fine, yes I don't want to dream of terrible things yet to pass, I don't want to be remained of my past. At least this way I know I can count on my Clan's trust. After all how many cats have ever trusted a half-clan rat like me?"
Her voice faded from the anger that had bubbled inside of her as she spoke. She was surprised to have felt so much anger. Minnowpaw could feel a burning sensation behind her eyes as tears began to build up. She hadn't meant to be so angry and touchy about Tigerpaw's question.
"To tell you the truth, I'm afraid of failing, I'm afraid that I won't be able to pull through when it really counts. I'm terrified of letting down this clan... letting down my family, here and in StarClan. That's my reason, It's why I've been working my tail off for Steelpool. Of course, it'd be nice if I could get some sleep every now and then."
Minnowpaw looked up and met his amber eyes. They had more in common than she could have ever guessed.They were both worried about failing. At least he tried to be a warrior. Her? Well she didn't have the attention spand to be drilled and quizzed about herbs and their uses. She was easily distracted and would much rather play, then be lectured or chastised for lack of attention on the subject.
"Thanks for listening, Minnowpaw. Looks like you've healed your first patient. You'll be a full-fledged medicine cat in no time."
Guilt clung to her and weighted her down like drenched fur. She wasn't trying and he was. She had yelled at him for nothing, over nothing. Yet her he was praising her for 'healing' her first patient.
thanks =D
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Heathclaw
Administrator
Rustlestar %7C 9 lives[M:400]
Am I crazy? Is that my problem?
Posts: 169
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Post by Heathclaw on May 11, 2009 17:09:54 GMT -5
"Hey, easy," whispered Tigerpaw, urgently bounding over to Minnowpaw's side and draping his tail across her shoulder. "I didn't mean to offend you. Easy."
He stood next to her, matching her breathing but going a little bit slower, trying to calm her down. After a few moments, he spoke again. "Do you want to know what I think? I think that it doesn't matter whether you are half-clan or not. As far as I am concerned, you are a RiverClan cat as long as you live here."
Tigerpaw glanced around the quiet camp. It was still, almost silent, save for the two of them. The cloudless sky twinkled down, brighter now than ever before. Was StarClan watching?
"Minnowpaw... you're lucky. You have no one waiting for you in StarClan yet. You're whole. And you're in a position to do so much good for all of us. You can save lives with medicine, and mend hearts with a smile. You can protect our clan in ways that the rest of us can't. So please, don't be so hard on yourself."
He sat down and glanced at her with kind, smiling eyes, then purred once. "You remind me of my sister. She was always running around, never able to sit still. She laughed a lot, too." Without warning, Tigerpaw yawned suddenly, and then tilted his head slightly. "Wow, it feels late all of a sudden."
(Blah. Couldn't think of what to write. x.x )
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Silvercloud
Clan Cat
[M:190]
Silvercloud Warrior of WindClan
Posts: 103
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Post by Silvercloud on May 12, 2009 16:34:48 GMT -5
It felt good to feel his tail drape over her shoulders, having someone there to comfort her. Her parents hadn't been much of parents. It felt a little strange and awkward, but soothing none the less.
Minnowpaw began to feel her quilt wash away and her fur lie flat. The tension in her and between them was gone. StarClan seemed to approve too. She followed his gaze and looked up to the stars. She would try to pay attention.
Minnowpaw glanced at him. What had he meant when he said she didn't have anyone in StarClan waiting? Of course she did, they all did! Past clan mates and new friends would be there to welcome them. Why talk of such things now? Their life was only just beginning.
StarClan surely wasn't ready to accept two apprentices, where they? Perhaps tomorrow she would find out. What had happened to his sister?
"I'm sorry for being so sensitive, I shouldn't have been, sorry for yelling." Softer she meowed "What happened to her?" Had he lost a sibling? Is that what he had meant? Poor fellow, siblings weren't meant to be separated. Not that she ever really knew her brother. Still some bond were just too strong to ever be fully broken.
No, keep going, this is getting most exctiting!
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Heathclaw
Administrator
Rustlestar %7C 9 lives[M:400]
Am I crazy? Is that my problem?
Posts: 169
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Post by Heathclaw on May 18, 2009 16:14:43 GMT -5
She was apologizing to him now, apologizing for being sensitive, for getting rattled so easily, and Tigerpaw could only smile. He couldn't be angry at her; there was no need for any apology. After all, strands of her inner pain echoed with his own, pain of loss, seperation, and fear. And yet, he was learning, that talking with Minnowpaw was helping to calm his inner turmoil. Truly, there wasn't any need for an apology.
Tigerpaw nodded to let her know that it was alright, and then turned back to the stars as she asked her next question. He took a few soft breaths, choosing his words. "She's there," said Tigerpaw, pointing with his tail up towards Silverpelt. "Her name was Daisykit. She was loud, energetic, cheery, and brave. Braver than her brother, at any rate." Tigerpaw's tail twitched guiltily at this admission. He had been the coward, acting only out of responsibility. Daisykit had been brave.
"I was remembering them tonight," said Tigerpaw. "It struck me that its already been two seasons since... well, it's not a pleasant story. You were probably too young to remember it. I was too young to remember it too, except that I was there." The fox jumped at him again from the corners of his imagination. Tigerpaw shivered involuntarily.
"Sorry." said Tigerpaw immediately, not wanting to cause Minnowpaw any alarm. "Do you want to hear the rest? I honestly don't mind, said Tigerpaw, resting his head on his paws.
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Silvercloud
Clan Cat
[M:190]
Silvercloud Warrior of WindClan
Posts: 103
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Post by Silvercloud on Jun 5, 2009 9:12:28 GMT -5
Minnowpaw felt empathy toward the tabby apprentice. He had lost his siblings to a fox, at least her brother might still be alive in WindClan. Well if she was like Daisykit enough for Tigerpaw to mention her she would try her hardest to be like her. In this way she would help honor the memory of the fallen kit.
Too young to remember it, heck she probably wasn't of this clan yet. She had been only about a moon old when the separation happened. It had been a dark cold night with few stars and a sliver of moon shining weakly. Blood, so much blood and noise. Pain, thorn sharp in her scruff and neck. Bouncing against mother's chest and legs, running blindly away.
"You are brave Tigerpaw, it takes a lot of courage to admit your faults and to share something personal. Never forget that. Don't criticize yourself too much, no kit could have fought off and killed a grown fox and live to tell about it. You can't change history, so just accept it and move on, learn from it. Everything happens for a reason."
Minnowpaw rested her head on her paws and purred. She lowered her voice to a soft tone filled with encouragement. "I'm always ready to hear a story."
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Heathclaw
Administrator
Rustlestar %7C 9 lives[M:400]
Am I crazy? Is that my problem?
Posts: 169
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Post by Heathclaw on Jun 6, 2009 17:02:23 GMT -5
Far from making him feel better, Minnowpaw's words stirred up another cloud of worry. "You heard about the fox, did you?" Tigerpaw asked, feigning calm.
How had Minnowpaw heard? He was sure that he hadn't told any cat about the fox incident. How much did she know? His fur began to spike up. If Minnowpaw knew, then who else knew? What would happen if all of RiverClan learned how deathly afraid he was of foxes?
But wait... Of course there were cats that knew. His parents, the patrol that rescued him, even the old medicine cat before Streamheart. It would only be natural for them to mention the fox, and the mere fact that there was a fox was of no consequence. His fur smoothed down again. There was no reason anyone would know what haunted his nightmares each night.
"Okay," said Tigerpaw, taking a deep breath. Despite what he said earlier, telling his story wasn't going to be easy. And yet, somehow, he knew that he had to get it out into the open, now, while he had the chance.
"It happened six moons ago, like I told you. Daisykit wasn't my only sibling: I had a brother named Stormkit. He might have been as strong as Falconpaw, and he was certainly as annoying as Twigpaw. When we were kits, he was always trying to leave the nursery. He wanted to see what the outside world was like, and he didn't want to wait until he grew up."
"That night, he'd slipped out of camp. Neither of us knew how he managed it. I must have woken up soon after; his nest was still warm. I woke up Daisykit, and we went off to find him."
As Tigerpaw described their journey, he found himself transported back to that night. He could almost smell the freshness of the night air, feel the soft, marshy ground under his paws, hear Daisykit's breath behind him. He shut his eyes, steeling himself for what came next. "We found Stormkit by the riverside. I'll never know what he saw, what he went through. I'll never know if he ever got to appreciate the beauty of that river, because by the time we found him, he was dead."
His voice broke at that moment, and he held his breath, holding back a sob. The camp was quiet. No more snores came from the apprentice den. "You've probably heard the rest. We bolted, but the fox caught up to us. It'd attacked Daisykit, she was yowling loud enough to reach StarClan. All I could do was try to distract that monster. It's a miracle that we survived. No... it's a miracle that I survived. Daisykit... Daisykit didn't make it."
This time, he couldn't hold back a low mournful moan. It was my fault! "I'm sorry," he murmered a moment latter, opening his eyes. "I promised myself I wouldn't- well, I told you, it wasn't a pleasant story." He gave her a wan smile. "I'll be okay. I needed to get that off my chest. Thanks for listening."
Everything happens for a reason... Minnowpaw had said, and yet...
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