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Post by maxxy on Aug 22, 2008 22:13:19 GMT -5
 Hawkice padded into the warriors den, obviously depressed. He loved Oakstar, and she loved him. He couldnt help the feeling of it, but he grew up with the warrior code, stating that Female Leaders were to not bear kits. Hawkice wanted Oakstar to be happy, and he wanted to be happy too, but he couldnt be happy with any other cat other than Oakstar, and he couldnt stand watching her be with another tom.
Hawkice sat down in his cold nest, that smelled faintly of himself. He spread his scent around and then layed down, curling himself in a tight ball. He knew he couldnt handle this, and he didnt want to, but he had to. He wanted to ensure that Oakstar still loved him, and he never wanted that feeling to go away. He had waited too long for love just to thrust it away. Hawkice was a cold and heartless cat before he met Oakstar. He thought that she was the prettiest she-cat he had ever seen, and he imediatly started talking to her, not acting like himself at all. He wanted to get to know every corner of her personality, and he wanted to be good friends with her.
When Oakstar became leader, it broke his heart. He knew that she couldnt have kits, but could have a mate as a leader, and just because she was a she-cat, she couldnt have kits. Hawkice just now tried to talk to her, but was interupted with Silkgrass abrubpt oncomming. He knew that Oakstar was probably going to claw his ears off because he left her at such a desperate time, but as long as she was paying attention to him, it wouldnt kill him as fast as completely ignoring him. He padded to the entrance of the Warriors den and looked out, waiting, hoping that Oakstar would come through the tunnel, so he could call to her, and talk to her. He needed to talk to her, and if she didnt come, he would go. If she didnt listen, he would tell her everyday. He needed to know that Oakstar knew that he was sorry for leaving, but he had to think, and that She was the only one he could EVER love.
Hawkice emerged his head farther out of the entrance, and sat himself down. Halfway in, halfway out. Thats how he felt. Half way knowing that Oakstar loved him and Halfway hoping that she would become his mate and have kits. He knew that both were what he wanted, but he was sure that he couldnt have both. |
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Post by mudmask on Sept 1, 2008 13:07:23 GMT -5
The torn Oakstar padded through the entrance to Riverclan, her head held high and proud, as she nodded to the cats in the clearing. She had forced herself to stop thinking about Hawkice and to start thinking about the new apprentice Hazelpaw. She had assigned Hawkice to mentor Hazelpaw, and had forgotten about her promise to come to him after the ceremony. Had she deliberately left him hanging there? Oakstar tried to force herself to think that she had just forgotten, but the real truth lingered in the shadows. She HAD wanted to leave the troubles behind that besought her, and she thought that by leaving Hawkice they would disappear. She thought wrong. Her proud head hung lower and lower at each thought of this. How pitifully kit-like.
Her icy eyes spotted Hawkice laying half in, half out of the warriors den and her stomach lurched with every emotion in the clearing; hate, love, betrayal, trust, despair, happiness… They all mixed into one bowl and made a colorful mix of mud. That mud seemed to be squeezing into her stomach a little bit at a time…
She drew in a deep breath and padded over to where he lay, she was about to lie down with him, and she opened her mouth, but shut it, turned up her nose, and padded past him without so much as a brush with her pelt. He didn’t seem to be in a rush to confront her, so she didn’t want to show her desperate attitude first, it would be like sucking up to him, which was not a question in her mind. No.
She sat down and curled her tail neatly around her paws and said briefly,
“Good afternoon, Hawkice.”
Her pelt glowed in the afternoon’s setting sun and she bit her lip to keep from crying out her despair. |
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Post by maxxy on Sept 1, 2008 15:52:17 GMT -5
Hawkice watched Oakstar turn away at first, instead of meeting him like he promised and his eyes went straight into the dirt. I blew it. He then heard her paws coming towards him and his head shot up, his eyes revealing nothing, but that's just how he was. He watched her pad past him like an angry warrior. He pushed against his front legs and stretched them, listening to her words as he went in an upright position. "Oakstar, let me explain, please." He pleaded. He didnt care if he looked weak, he was weak. He couldnt loose her, he would die if he did. Without her responce, Hawkice went on anyway. "Oakstar, I love you, I cant live without you. Back in the marsh, I... I freaked out, I spazzed out. I know I shouldnt have left you, I should have stayed there like nothing is wrong, but there IS something wrong. Your a leader, you cant have a mate, and I'm a regular warrior. But I cant loose you. I dont want any other femora here, but you. No one understands me as much as you do, you must understand." He had done it. He spilled everything out in the open. He looked at Oakstar, revealing his emotions of Love and sadness. He didn't have anymore to say, and he shifted his wieght from paw to paw. He looked at Oakstar and let his eyes fall to the dirt and muttered a few last words. "Oakstar, I'm sorry." The words fell out of his mouth like falling leaves in the begginings of leaf-bare. He kept his eyes downcast, like he was submitting himself to Oakstar. He had never, EVER, revealed his emotions before, but he couldnt seem to hold them in for this special femmora any longer. His ears were back and a few tears welled in the corners of his eyes. They fell, like rain drops, to the sun baked earth, and little splashes went about them. He couldnt look at her anymore, not now, not while she hated him. He felt so weak that he could colapse at that moment while he waited for Oakstar's words...
[OOC: WOOT!! Muse BLAST!] |
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Post by mudmask on Sept 1, 2008 16:22:59 GMT -5
Oakstar's eyes brimmed with tears as Hawkice spilled himself out to her. She had never seen him like this, and knew that he would never do this to any other cat. The female jumped to her paws and padded over to him, pressing him back down to the ground and murmered,
"Why are you so sorry? You have done everything I ask, you've spilled out yourself to me and trusted me like no other cat. I'll always forever love you for that. You trust me so much, and I'm already in love with you... Can the others not see that tearing us apart because of the warrior code will kill us? If I have to live without you... I- I want kits, and I want them to be yours and mine. They would thrive in the clan, and they would be so unique; with my natural leadership and your bravery anf fighting skills. I don't understand why our ancestors would keep me from the one I love..."
She lie down close to him, and said,
"I was so confused, and you left me hanging... I wanted to dissappear and I blamed you for it because I didn't have anyone else to blame but myself. I couldn't blame myself for one more thing, the pressure of all this is enough to crush the world under it's paws... You must understand, or I'm all alone out here by myself..."
Tears flew down her face and muzzle, and she said,
"I love you Hawkice, and I just can't live knowing that the warrior code, a non-living thing, can be so real and break us apart like claws..." [/color][/size][/blockquote] [3...2....1..... MUSE BLAST!!!] |
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Post by maxxy on Oct 22, 2008 22:27:57 GMT -5
Hawkice listened as the love of his life spilled her heart out to him. He nuzzled her, and kept her to himself. He felt her hot tears soak into his fur, and he pressed himself closer to her. He looked at her and stood up straight. Then you must make a plea to starclan. Go to the moonpool, and ask. You know that Starclan has everything planned out, and I dont want to disrupt that balance. We can still love each other, with no kits. But, if starclan will let us, and will accept our kits as some sort of prophetic thing, then we can still be accepted to the warriors, and the other clans. I do not want you to be looked down apon, and if you are, I will protect you. I am here to protect you, and keep you safe. My second responcibility is to love you. For, I cannot love someone who is not here if I have not protected them correct? Hawkice's crystal blue eyes looked deep into Oakstar's teary ones. He pleaded, and now he wanted to know whether or not she would answer his plea. He wanted to be the best and greatest warrior, but he also wanted to be a great father of Oakstar's kits. Hawkice wanted so much, but knew that he could only have so little. He looked up to the sky, and sent up a silent prayer to Starclan. Please, let Oakstar be happy, unless there is a bigger and better thing planned for her... Hawkice didn't care about himself, or his needs at this time. All he cared about was Oakstar. |
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Post by mudmask on Oct 25, 2008 15:55:47 GMT -5
Oakstar absorbed her tears and replaced them with a determined glint in her eye. She breathed slowly, and closed her eyes, grasping her feelings to put them back in the bottle inside of her chest. The decision had been made, Moonpool it was. She sighed and mewed,
“You are right Hawkfrost, and Starclan must understand. They must be the judge of this matter. I see no reason for these quizzing and guessing games, they have no meaning. If I cannot love you, well, we will take care of that afterwards.”
With a final word, she gave him a soft, gentle look of affection, stroked his muzzle with the tip of her velvety mud colored tail, and disappeared, out of the den, and towards the setting of the sun, her sleek figure collapsing into the vegetation of the sunlit scenery. As the she-cat leader padded solemnly through the wood, she couldn’t help but wonder whether she had done the right thing. Could she bring this ‘small’ case to the mighty cats of Starclan? Did she have the real answer inside of herself, but didn’t want to believe it?
Oakstar bit her lip and hurried onward, forcing herself to believe that what she had just thought was not true. But she did know that it was unpredictable WHAT would happen if the ancestors said no… She stopped abruptly, how could she be so selfish?! Hawkfrost only cared about her, and if she ruined this, his reputation would be like seeds in the wind. Why, and particularly how, could this happen? It was what they both wanted, right? The female trudged forward again, her eyes downcast. There must be some way out.
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